Consider these labels: No personality. Anti-social. Loner. Shy. Socially Awkward. Depressed etc etc .
Yep, I’ve heard all these … in the workplace. The one heard most often is ‘socially awkward’ as I don’t do the social chitchat/small talk that is deemed obligatory. Introverts loathe social chitchat/small talk. We also need to think before speaking therefore communication is awkward at best and we grasp for the right (or any!) words while our coworkers look on with mystified expressions, clueless why we can’t just spit it out? It is not long before the talk around the watercooler turns to assumptions and/or judgments about the quiet person who cannot make simple conversation. Unfortunately, gossip is a reality in the workplace and people do label those who are deemed different for any reason. People also ridicule what they do not or will not understand, which in this case is introversion.
How about considering this perspective from an introvert’s point of view? Everyday at work an introvert feels different from their extroverted colleagues, recognizing differences and feeling shame because they do make conversation easily; obligatory social functions drain and exhaust them etc. An introvert has perhaps never or rarely received validation for being who he or she is, for their positive qualities, strengths, talents and abilities. She or he has heard negatives and comparisons to extroverts and internalized the message that they are flawed because they are not ‘like everyone else’. So imagine going to work and getting more of these same messages, sometimes voiced, sometimes not. I’ve had the comment ‘no personality’ said about me in a stage whisper when I was standing just a few feet away. How do I know this? Well, when the comment is made to another then both individuals glance in my direction, the message is pretty clear. Evidently, it was assumed that not only do I have no personality, I am also too slow mentally to figure out they were referring to me.
What is the best way to inform employers that introverts exist, they are valuable assets with qualities and skills that provide much needed balance in the workplace? Do employers know how to recognize introvert traits? I suspect not. How do introverts quietly but assertively make their needs known?
Carol this is Jack L Richburg… I hope this is you… Dad died Oct. 25th at 91. Jim Fillmore was your husband. You cared for myself and Linda when we were yound. I am not a professional Photographer and teacher.. I enjoy your work even if this is not who I wish. I live in Conroe Tx.
Sorry for not replying before this…. but I am very sorry but I do not know you: nor have cared for you and the other person when you were young.
Thank you though for the lovely comments on my blog ….