shame and the introvert …continued

The less shame is understood, and how it affects our feelings, thoughts and behaviours the more power it has over our lives. Having the courage to talk about shame and the compassion to listen enables us to change the way we live, love, work, and manage relationships.

Shame is particularly prevalent in these areas:
appearance/body image; motherhood/family/parenting; money; work; mental/physical health; sex; aging; and religion.

We all struggle to feel comfortable with who we are. For introverts, this seems to be especially challenging in a society that puts so much emphasis on fitting in and ‘being perfect’. Introverts are perceived as not ‘fitting in’ with the norm. We feel that judgment acutely and as most introverts often are very sensitive as well, we’re more affected by the judgments.

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  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything due to regular computer access issues.  Am going to try to post semi-regularly.  It may be once every two weeks or so but may be less often.  The posts won’t be as lengthy as in the past either.  Sorry about this. 

     Since seeing Brene Brown on one of the afternoon talk shows (forget which one) discussing the subject of shame, that got my attention immediately!  Shame is something that is not talked about much even among mental health professionals. 

    Brene Brown mentioned her book on this program and I purchased a copy: excellent!!!!  Cannot speak for other introverts, but I’ve often felt shame for being one! 

    What is shame?

    Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we’re flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.  P5

I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)

by Brene Brown

It’s an emotion we’ve all felt, both extroverts and introverts, but find difficult to understand. 

 

The following are some examples of participants in a study conducted by Brene Brown on shame:

Shame is that feeling in the pit of your stomach that is dark and hurts like hell.  You can’t talk about it and can’t articulate how it feels because then everyone would know your ‘dirty little secret’.

 

Shame is being rejected

 

You work hard to show the world what it wants to see.  Shame happens when your mask is pulled off and the unlikeable parts of you are seen.  It feels unbearable to be seen.

Shame is feeling like an outsider. 

      Brene Brown says its nearly impossible to explain shame without evoking incredibly powerful and overwhelming feelings associated with it. 

      Wonder if introverts being especially sensitive feel the pain of the shame more than the average?   How detrimental are the effects of long term shaming on introverts.

    I will be continuing the subject of shaming in future blogs.  That’s it for now.

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